It Should Have Been You
by unimportant44
Summary: She blames me for what happened. It is my fault, so it's my job to to help her. Tori's POV.


**A dark oneshot I came up with while walking around. Warning: Contains mentions of death, depression, and suicide.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious.**

It's been three months since the accident and she has finally come back to school. My hopes of her being back to the way she was were dashed almost instantaneously. She walked in with those dark clothes and the dark make up. No smiles, no laughter, and her eyes still cold and dead. As she passed by she said those words to me. Those words that she had said to me everyday I had visited.

"It should have been you." she said, passing by without a second glance. The thing is I agree. It should have been me. I told myself this every morning because it's my fault.

Our first class is Sikowitz. Everyone enters and tries to pretend it's just another day. It isn't. She sits in the back of the class, arms crossed and eyes straight ahead, not even glancing at anyone. After class no one saw her until lunch started.

At lunch she sat alone, but we all tried to get her to open up. Beck tried first. He was talking, but she kept quiet, until she said something to make Beck leave. A few minutes later Robbie went over to her. He went over, but she took Rex and threw him into the parking lot. Robbie ran after him. We waited for ten minutes and then sent André over to her. If anyone would have a chance, it was him. He actually got to sit down. He talked and she even gave a few candid responses from what I saw. Maybe it worked. André walked back over and shook his head.

"Sorry, Tori. She's not going to talk." he said.

"But I saw you two talking. Her mouth moved." I pointed out.

"Those were 'yes' and 'no' answers. It's her first day back. Don't push her." I ignored Andre's advice. When the bell for class rang I held back. She was one of the last to leave, but I went over before she could leave.

"What do you want, Vega?" her voice was dark, lacking any happiness at all. "It should have been you." those familiar words.

"I know. I'm sorry. I know it's my fault, but please stop pushing everyone away. We're trying to help." I pleaded.

"I don't need anyone's help, especially not yours." she began walking away.

"She wouldn't want this. She'd want you to be happy and enjoy yourself." I told her. She turned around and in a rage grabbed my neck and pushed me against a wall. I was scared.

"What do you know about what she would want? She wanted to live! She wanted to grow old with me! We were happy!" she let me down and turned away from me.

"I'm your friend. I'm just trying to help."

"You're not my friend! Leave me alone!" she yelled. I grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around.

"You can wear the clothes, you can wear the make up, and you can even act just like her, but you have to face facts. Jade is dead. Pushing us away won't bring her back. We used to be best friends, Cat. Please let us in. We miss her too."

"Just leave me alone." she began to walk out of the school.

"Where are you going? We have class."

"I don't care. I have someplace to be." and with that Cat left. It truly is my fault...

_-begin memory-_

"Tori. I need you to go and get me some chips and cream cheese." Trina asked. Trina had graduated and was pregnant. The father wasn't in the picture so it was up to me to help out.

"But I don't wanna. I just got you something a few hours ago." I said. She was pushy and annoying as usual.

"Come on." she begged.

"It's such a long drive. Why do you need those specific chips?" I asked.

"They're sooo good."

"I'm not getting them. It's horrible out and it's nearly nine!" I headed upstairs to my room, back to my guests. I had Cat and Jade over. Jade had proposed to Cat a week before and Cat wanted help planning their wedding. Jade came along to make sure I didn't "mess anything up".

"What did Trina want?" asked Cat.

"She wants me to drive all the way to that gas station to get this one brand of chips and some cream cheese in the pouring rain." I told them.

"Well she must really want them because I can hear her whining about something." Jade said. After ten minutes of planning Jade stood up. "I can't stand her whining anymore. I'm going to get it myself."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Since you're not going to and she won't shut up until she gets it I have to."

"Be careful. It's really dark and wet out." Cat said.

"Don't worry. I'll be back soon. I love you." she kissed Cat. They were adorable together.

"I love you too." she said back. With that Jade left.

We continued making plans for the wedding for about an hour. Cat was getting worried about Jade. She should have been back by now. She called her cell phone, but no one picked up. She got worried until she got a call back. Her face went from happy to shocked. Cat dropped her phone.

"Cat. What happened?" I asked.

"Jade was in some kind of accident. We need to go to the hospital." she said. She was eerily calm. I grabbed my coat and we drove down to the hospital's emergency room. We waited for the doctor to come out to us.

"Are you here for Jade West?" he asked.

"Yes. I'm her fiance. Is she all right?" she asked.

"We did everything we could, but her wound was fatal. I'm sorry." the doctor put a hand on her shoulder, but she fell to the ground crying her eyes out. Her tears ran down her face and fell on her already soaked shirt, neglecting to put a coat on. The doctor left soon after.

A police officer came over and asked to talk to Cat. She composed herself enough to listen, but not much else. Apparently she walked in on a robbery that had turned into a violent situation. The robbers saw her walk in and shot her, running off after. When the cop left Cat turned to me and said those words for the first time. "It should have been you." she walked home alone and in the rain. I tried to give her a ride, but she kept refusing.

_-end memory-_

The funeral was a week later. Everyone attended. Cat cried so much that day. After that she sunk into a deep depression. So much so that André ended up preventing her from killing herself. We tried to cheer her up, but nothing worked. Especially if it came from me.

I don't blame her for blaming me. I blame myself. Jade's death changed Cat. Her innocence shattered. As time passed she became more angry and she refused to wear any bright colors anymore. No one has seen her smile since. Cat's spirit died that night along with Jade. Right now she's probably at the graveyard, crying even more. I would sell my soul to bring Jade back, because Cat is right. It should have been me.

**This story is not connected to my on going story "Feelings for Cat". This is a stand alone story that I thought some might like. If you know of my other work, then you know how much I like reviews, so please review.**


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